Easter Sunday and Gentle Reminders
Some time has passed and it is now evening and I'm setting the grill to heat up to make a nice Easter dinner for me and my mom. It's still raining outside, more so actually, and I'm still loving it.
I am very blessed for God sending us His Son who sacrificed himself so that we may live and be able to enter into Heaven one day. There's this little girl named Claire Ryann who is one of the most precious human beings and her family, she sings different songs a lot of Disney. I love how she performs with her dad and they just are a beautiful family and God blessed them. One of the videos that she has done is her singing Gethsemane and it is beyond touching and moving, and very powerful. I love listening to her because she is innocent and a light in this world that God has given us and given her family. She loves and is loved incredibly for a young child.
Now I just took another moment, my mom showed me a video of Jim Caviezel giving a sermon or rather being honest and talking to a pastor in San Diego. It really makes you think and feel. It humbles me to hear his words and to hear his truths which I believe to be mine as well. And those truths don't have to be others, that's okay. I walked away from watching the video being humbled, as the rain begins to pour down for it stopped for a few moments, humbled because it makes me think about the things that I've worried over. Things that I've stressed over or simply things that do not matter as much as I was giving them the attention to do so. He ended the conversation with how much God loves us and how His love shines through and matters most. How it does not matter if we are a nobody down here, to God in Heaven we are a somebody and He has our name in His Hall of Fame, that's what matters. His Grace, His Love, His Light, His Mercy is what matters most. I have often gotten upset or frustrated with how sometimes I don't get the opportunities I feel I should have, or how sometimes I feel I'm in the back of an ensemble which I love but would love to have more opportunities doing more. I have often been frustrated with not getting solos and leads or supporting parts....It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter as much because God has me where I am meant to be. He has me where He knows I am to be and doing what I am meant to be doing. And these last few years, last year feeling like the worst, was a time of learning. I felt frustrated and hurt trying to wonder why God would put me through such things, times and moments when I wanted to lose hope, never did but felt beaten down and exhausted. I feel like now, after listening to Jim Caviezel and being reminded, that I am continuously being tested by God. And that is a good thing. God wants me to be the best I can be. He wants me to learn and grow, Jim called God as being one of or THE best coach we can have. God pushes us and pushes, He wants us to be the best. God wants us to grow, learn, be challenged. I've heard the quote "God gives His toughest battles to His toughest soldiers", and we are soldiers and warriors of God. I am proud to call myself a soldier for God because I know at the end of the day and throughout, that God wants what's best for me and wants me to push through so I can get stronger and stronger. God wants me to survive and LIVE for Him and His name and He wants me to show others His light and what it can do. And His light is bright, believe me. Or don't, that's okay. Life is about choices and different paths. I know no matter what path I take God will be forgiving, understanding, loving, caring, compassionate, and He will still be there with me and by me until the end and forever.
I have been through so much, there have been times when I have cried and while doing so I got down on my knees and prayed for the day or night to end better. Moments when I fell to my knees and asked God to look into my heart and help make things a little better. For there to be some light at the end of the day, no matter how small. And being truthful, He answered my prayers and helped me feel like I would be okay. And I was okay, I am okay. Things could of course be better, but they are better and okay because of God. God can be tough, He can be demanding, one of the toughest coaches and teachers we will ever have. But that is a good thing. God helps me to be a better person, a more loving, caring, understanding, empathetic person to others. Because what i have been through and going through, i feel I am in a better place to try to help calm others or listen to others and not be judgmental or impatient. I still have much to go through but I know where I've been, who I've been, who I am, where I am. Even though I may not know where I'm going, I'm going there with God by my side and guiding me and protecting.
I feel I should make it clear that sometimes people believe that just because others are Christians, that must obviously mean that we don't go through tough times. That we don't feel pain as much as others, that as Christians we get everything handed to us by God and we are perfectly fine with no serious problems or real worrying concerns. That's not true, not even in the slightest. Sometimes we go through more because God knows us and what we can handle and what He knows we need to learn and how to get there. It's just like when a teacher is harder on a student because they know that student is capable of so much more and should be reaching and achieving so much more. So that teacher pushes because they expect more out of that student. I feel that is how God is. He knows I can do more and endure more, I am His child after all. God encourages us to get up after we fall down, I believe He encourages and wants us to try and be our own Rocky in our lives. It ain't about how hard you get hit or how many times you get hit. It's about how many times you get back up. And the struggle is real boo boo. Believe me, it is. And the struggle isn't supposed to be easy, otherwise the victories wouldn't be as sweet. Success stories don't feel as good when things are handed to us. And if life were easy and the struggles were easy, why would we need Faith? Why would Faith ever be considered? We need Faith, we need someone to tell us we're loved and worthy. We need people to tell us we should live another day because we will be missed. But we don't need to always look to a friend on Earth to hear that, although it's nice of course. We need only to look to God because He does love us, God does want us to love and to live because He would miss us if we weren't here. That was another point Jim C. made in the conversation.
There's so much going on in this world, it's so easy to falter or go astray or to get inside our own heads. I know that one.
I'm reminded from a show my mom was watching last night, Alaskan Last Frontier, and one of the people was a man who always loved being a mountain man. He had to unfortunately head to town out of the area he had lived for the last 40 years, because he had cancer and was dealing with health issues. He described living in the mountains as beautiful and amazing because it's where he can be with God. He felt there were no distractions and nothing getting in the way between him and God. That there were no barriers and just space to focus on God. Because to him the mountains and the country, to him, was God. And it reminded me of how lately I've been wanting to go or slip away to the mountains and get some fresh air. Maybe it's also because this longing or wanting, is reminding me to be more focused with God and with less distractions. Doesn't sound like a bad idea to be honest.
There's plenty I feel I could type and speak about here, but I feel I should leave this in this moment of stillness, and calmness with the rain gently falling down. Jim Caciezel is one of my favorite people and I admire and respect how he's not afraid to speak his truth and to hear him talk about his experiences, that are unbelievable yet powerful, while filming The Passion of the Christ. It's just amazing and inspiring and complete genuine respect.
Whoever has read this thank you and if no one has that is alright. It felt good to get this out and type away. I also enjoyed hearing Jim leave with a final message, "I would rather be a nobody down here and to be a somebody up There." It's an honor and great feeling to know that God has my name down and will remember me and love me and always be a Father to me.
Love you all and Happy Easter no matter your faiths!
Chelsea
Gethsemane by Claire Ryann
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWIx24J00Wc
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